NOTES FROM JANE’S DANCING HANDS JOURNEY (AKA BLOG OF GRATITUDE) PART TWO
“She screamed and she screamed and she screamed. She threw herself onto the floor and continued to scream while her fists and feet flailed their fury. While many came to assist, I felt only the calm hand of Source put my hand on her back as she railed, screamed, and writhed like a young, upset child….
“Finally the angry woman flipped over and I asked if she could look me in my eyes. Her eyes flashed, and struggled to keep her eyes from mine, but I could hear Source say she only needed to see her perfection reflecting through my eyes and she’d be fine. “Look at me, my friend,” I repeated gently. “Look right here and see you are loved,” and when she finally, finally did, she nearly instantly calmed…
“While certainly our friend here was working through some ancient pain from her past and was clearly upset being locked out of a place that was helping her feel better, our friend is representing what so many of are feeling in the world right now. We know where we’d like to be. We know what feels better. And when the world suddenly and inexplicably seems to be locking us out to all we can enjoy in the dance with our brothers and sisters, it is clearly upsetting. She represented our individual and collective pain and when we hold the love and the trust that even through the tears that Source is here, then all will be well and peace will return…
I’ve struggled how to continue this story for all to hear. Truth be told I wasn’t alarmed for a moment as Source so fully reassured me that all was well. Others, however, were quite upset in these tense minutes and a call to 911 was made by one fearing that she would either harm herself with her flailing about, or hurt me. No paramedic or ambulance came – they were called off when reassured by Suzi that her mother was with her, we were fine — but apparently the upset young woman did admit in the restroom to Suzi soon after, (as I was sharing the final prayer and thanks in the JDH Circle), that she truly wished to kill me.
“Kill me?” I sighed when Suzi told me this as we mopped the floor after everyone had left.
“That’s what she told me,” Suzi replied. The woman, her mother, the friend of ours who had invited her, and I all talked afterwards, when she’d calmed down considerably and we sorted through the emotional rollercoaster of her recent life and her stresses. The fire was out now so it didn’t stoke any new fear in me as I heard this. I had done my best to see and say goodbye at the door to everyone who left the room that night to really find out how this experience had impacted our Circle, and all with whom I spoke reiterated what Suzi and I had gleaned — that they felt this extraordinary experience was a lesson for us all how to stand unflinchingly in the face of anger and grief and even aggression, and be held in the Love of the Divine and hold that Divine Love until that which has seemingly been forgotten is remembered again.
But to actually hear the words that she’d wanted to kill me…
Years ago… 2010 on the long, steep walk into the Waipio Valley Braco had asked me if I feared being killed. At the time I thought he must have felt this was an important job qualification to produce the Western region of the US Tours. But maybe he just had a premonition of this night – or even the other times that I’ve been rushed during an event and my hands seemed to rise and deflect the attempts at harm in time, I don’t know, but without hesitation, I said, “No. When I was kidnapped years ago, the man tried to kill me and when I tried to escape… well, I’ve already looked Death in the eye and felt God’s Presence there with me, even then, so I know when it is my time I’ll be okay… so, no. I’m not afraid.” I’d rather not have to deal with such things, of course, but no, when connected so with purest Source/God/Creator there is nothing but love.
Perhaps this is the message of the Season for us all in this Season of Rebirth. We just celebrated the Spring Equinox and in our natural world here on the Western Hemisphere, despite what some may be saying it is our time growing Light. Jews celebrated Passover commemorating the liberation from slavery, Christians just celebrated Easter and the Rebirth of Christ and we all have the opportunity to acknowledge our ability to be released from fear’s shackles and be reborn in the growing light of remembrance of Source’s ever-present Light and Love.
So many, many experiences in the dance with Source have happened since this one. Since this event, I have danced with mamas of pure joy and no need and with hardworking shaman bowled under the strain of helping so many without time for self-restoration. I have danced with dear ones in the hospital and in the room – and if you didn’t hear – we had one baby in particular in the hospital with a double infection and a collapsed lung (click on this link for the Jane’s Dancing Hands Facebook sharing of this story) and was so happy to see her turn around in the space of one beautiful song over Skype from grumpy and in pain to eating after only having two chicken nuggets in 6 days. She was released from the hospital within two days when that night, even her sweet mama, a nurse, was in agony not knowing how she could turn this situation around. But especially when two are more are gathered we ALL have the ability to hold this light and love for one another. And while for some it takes courage, for others it’s simply a matter of showing up, opening your heart as I do and asking how we may serve God/Source/Creator and my fellow sister, brother, daughter, son, mother, father, cousin, friend today? It’s not for everyone’s wish to do this, I know this, too, but for many out there who wish to even help with their own families, take heart. I believe in YOU!
I look forward to seeing how all our hands and hearts may open today, tonight, or tomorrow or the next dance. We have a world to love and as I’ve said at every event and every circle it’s going to take more of us, loving and dancing and doing our sacred best, shoulder to shoulder without competition or ego to help this whole wide, wonderful world feel its light, its love, its rebirth anew.